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Archives for August 2015

August 19, 2015 By NBA Staff

I’m a sex worker in a legal brothel – here are the biggest misconceptions about what I do

(Sarah Greenmore) – I’ve been working in Nevada’s legal brothels for almost a year and a half now. In this time I’ve learned a lot about sexuality, psychology and relationships. My job is a mix of customer service and fantasy fulfillment, and I love it. It suits my needs and allows me financial stability I never had access to before. However, what I’ve noticed since starting this career is that there is a lot that the general public doesn’t seem to get about sex work. Here are some of the biggest misconceptions:

1. ‘Sex work is lazy – and easy’

I can describe my job many ways, but never as easy. I work a 12-14 hour shift each day, and during this time I’m juggling my four social media accounts, two professional email addresses, posting on multiple industry message boards, scheduling client appointments, arranging radio interviews, writing essays online, and cleaning meticulously.

I’m also meeting countless visitors of the brothel, taking them on tours, gauging their interest, pulling teeth to figure out exactly what they desire, then negotiating prices. That’s before the sex even starts, in which I’m generally doing most of the physical workload, putting emotional labor to make my clients feel at ease, listening to their deepest confessions, and trying to make sure they get their money’s worth.

Sex work is a physically intimate therapy session for most of our clients. Many workers who work independently also have to schedule hotel rooms, vet their clients to make sure they aren’t dangerous, run their own websites and handle marketing.

2. ‘Sex workers spread disease’

In Nevada, all the state’s thousands of legally working sexual companions have mandatory STD testing every week. There has never been a case of HIV reported in the brothel system in Nevada. We use condoms for all of our services – including condoms for blow jobs and dental dams for cunnilingus.

We take our health seriously: just like a massage therapist or a labor contractor, if our bodies aren’t in top shape, we can’t pay our bills, feed ourselves or support our families. To jeopardise our health and our clients’ health for one client’s desires could ruin our reputation and cost us our jobs. So we take many precautions to protect ourselves and our clients.

3. ‘Only creeps, losers and desperate guys visit sex workers’

You’d be surprised at the range of people who walk through our doors. We entertain middle-aged couples looking to spice up their love life. Young military veterans visit struggling to transition back into civilian life and dating. Respectable business men, lawyers, doctors, and professionals who are overworked without time for dating. Men with Asperger’s who find navigating traditional social relationships challenging and confusing. For many, seeing a sex worker is more than just the act of sex.

We provide a safe space to be comfortable with sexuality and physical intimacy. Clients are able to let their barriers down and have a connection with a near stranger and it is often highly therapeutic for them. We’re also teachers, guiding our virgin clients through sex and intimacy for the first time. Our clients treat us with respect and adoration, and are as kind to us as we are to them. Shaming our clients demonises their sexuality, which is repressive and judgmental.

4. ‘Sex workers hate their jobs’

There’s a saying that goes “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” Somehow that went out the window with sex work, at least in society’s eyes. We chose this job because it suits our needs financially and to some, a spiritual or sexual level, others, its simply an income source and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Our work is deeply personal and intimate. We see people at their most vulnerable, when they’re naked and expressing their inner most desires. These desires may have been hidden away for years, decades. The relationships I develop with my clients are genuine and I’m happy to see them leave basking in a glow, relaxed and relieved. Making people feel good about themselves brings me a profound sense of happiness.

I have heard on so many occasions “Thank you, I needed this.” “I’ve never felt more relaxed.” Being able to make my own schedule and be in control of my own small business allows me incredible freedoms. I can take off three months, six months, two years from work and know my employment will always be welcomed back. I don’t drink heavily and I don’t use drugs to get through a shift. I never dread going to work.

5. ‘Sex workers are broken’

“Her parents must be proud”

“Get an education, sleeze”

“She must have daddy issues”

“I wonder how much drugs she needs to get through a shift”

All of these are real comments I’ve heard online or in person. The notion that my profession is a last resort for a broken, uneducated woman with a drug habit is a disservice to the range of people who choose to be sex workers. It’s dehumanising, and allows the continued violence and social stigma against sex workers to thrive.

Keeping our industry in the shadows keeps an unfair power balance in the hands of law enforcement and clients who mean us harm. We are human beings, who for many different reasons, but one main one – to provide for ourselves – have chosen sex work as our occupation. It is a valuable and desired service, and will always exist. So we need to bring sex work into the realm of decriminalisation or legalisation, and provide safety, social services and basic human rights to some of the most vulnerable in our society.

Sarah Greenmore is a courtesan working at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, located outside of Reno, Nevada. She enjoys writing about sex work, social issues and entertaining discussions on safe sex and human sexuality.  This column was originally published in The Independent on August 19, 2015.

Filed Under: Blog

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Suzette Cole, CEO, Moonlite Bunny Ranch

“Prostitution is the oldest profession and will not go away.  Nevada has been doing it right since 1971 when we took it out of the criminal’s hands and put it into a highly-regulated industry.  As an added benefit, there has never been a case of HIV/AIDS in the history of legal brothels here…and you can’t say that about any other profession in the United States.”

John Stossel, Syndicated Columnist

“We don’t have to cheer for prostitution, or think it’s nice, to keep government out of it and let participants make up their own minds.  It’s wrong to ban sex workers’ options just to make ourselves feel better.”

Steve Chapman, Syndicated Columnist

“Prohibition doesn’t eliminate the harms generally associated with prostitution, such as violence, human trafficking and disease. On the contrary, it fosters them by driving the business underground.”

Christina Parreira, UNLV Researcher/Sex Worker

“Sex work is my CHOICE.  I’d like to continue to have the opportunity to make that choice legally.  We don’t need protection. We’re consenting, adult women.”

Washington, DC Councilman David Grosso

“We need to stop arresting people for things that are not really criminal acts. We should arrest someone for assault…but when it’s two adults engaging in a consensual sex act, I don’t see why that should be an arrestable offense”

New York Assemblyman Richard Gottfried

“Trying to stop sex work between consenting adults should not be the business of the criminal justice system.”

U.S. Sen. Cory Booker

“Yes, sex work should be decriminalized.  As a general matter, I don’t believe that we should be criminalizing activity between consenting adults, and especially when doing so causes even more harm for those involved.”

U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders

“I think the idea of legalizing prostitution is something that should be considered…(and) certainly needs to be discussed.”

U.S. Sen. Kamala Harris

“When you’re talking about consenting adults, I think that, yes, we should really consider that we can’t criminalize consensual behavior, as long as no one is being harmed. … We should not be criminalizing women who are engaged in consensual opportunities for employment.”

U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Warren

“I believe humans should have autonomy over their own bodies and they get to make their own decisions. … I am open to decriminalizing sex work. Sex workers, like all workers, deserve autonomy and are particularly vulnerable to physical and financial abuse.”

U.S. Rep. Tulsi Gabbard

“If a consenting adult wants to engage in sex work, that is their right, and it should not be a crime. All people should have autonomy over their bodies and their labor.”

Gov. John Hickenlooper

“Legalizing prostitution and regulating it, so there are norms and protections and we understand more clearly how people are being treated and make sure we prevent abuse, I think it should be really looked at.”

Mike Gravel, former Alaska Senator

“Sex workers are workers, and they deserve the dignity and respect that every worker deserves. For too long, we’ve denied them that. Sex workers, not politicians, should lead the way in crafting sex work policy.”

Prof. Ronald Weitzer, George Washington University:

“Unlike illegal street prostitution in many other places, Nevada’s legal brothels do not disturb public order, create nuisances, or negatively impact local communities in other ways. Instead, they provide needed tax revenue for cash-strapped rural towns.”

Prof. Barbara Brents, UNLV author, “State of Sex”:

“Teams of scholars…have concluded that Nevada’s legal brothels provide a far safer environment for sex workers than the criminalized system in the rest of the United States.”

Prof. Sarah Blithe, UNR author, “Sex and Stigma”:

“Discussions of legal prostitution are rife with misinformation.  Academic work and popular press publications alike often conflate legal prostitution in the United States with illegal prostitution.”

Lee Herz Dixon:

“Do I think eradicating legal prostitution from all Nevada counties will erase the practice of the oldest profession in the state, or break the nexus of drugs, crime, and exploitation of the vulnerable? I do not.”

Journalist Michael Cernovich:

“It’s empirically proven that criminalizing sex work allows children to be sex trafficked more readily as they are afraid to turn to authorities and wonder if they will be arrested.”

Enrique Carmona:

“We need to put aside moralistic prejudices, whether based on religion or an idealistic form of feminism, and figure out what is in the best interests of the sex workers and public interest as well.”

Ruby Rae, professional courtesan

“In the brothels, we have the choice, always, to say which clients we will say yes and no to. We have staff that would never let a man hurt us, and we have a clientele that do not come here to hurt us.”

Kiki Lover, professional courtesan:

“We are human beings who chose to do sex work on our own free will. We get treated with respect and like family at the brothels. It’s a job just like any other job. We sell a service that all humans need.”

Paris Envy, professional courtesan:

“I’m not ‘exploited.’ I’m not ‘trafficked.’ I’m not ‘brainwashed.’ I don’t need to be ‘saved.’ I’ve freely chosen this line of work, which is a legal, private transaction between consenting adults.”

Alice Little, professional courtesan:

“It’s ILLEGAL sex work that exploits children. It’s ILLEGAL sex work that traffics. It’s ILLEGAL sex work that sees women exploited and abused by pimps.”

Jim Shedd, Nevadan

“Prostitution should be licensed, regulated, taxed like any other service industry.  There are many single or widowed men and women who should be able to take advantage of such services provided by consenting adults for consenting adults. Let’s act to at least reduce illegal sex trafficking and other sex crimes by creating safe and legal outlets for paying adults who wish to use them.”

Paul Bourassa, brothel customer:

“Some people are just never given a chance in the dating scene, so brothels offer those of us with no experience a chance to learn what it’s like to be on a date.”

Lewis Dawkins, brothel customer:

“It’s not always about sex. Little compliments and encouragements offered by the ladies help build my self-confidence. It’s a business, yes. But the ladies care personally about their clients. That means a lot.”

Brett Caton, brothel customer:

“I think brothels provide an important function in society. Legal ones give a safe outlet to their customers and for some men it is the only way they get so much as a hug.”

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The Nevada Brothel Association PAC is a coalition of legal brothel owners, brothel workers, brothel clients and brothel supporters dedicated to defending a woman’s right to choose professional sex work as a career, protecting the public’s health and safety, and preserving Nevada’s rich live-and-let-live heritage.

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